Facebook Statuses

(I just want to say that clever status updates are a good way to impress the ladies. In theory. Ha. Anyways, just put yours truly infront of each of these statements. And, please, let me know if any of these actually are clever:-)

would like to be a ghostwriter—after he dies.

hates those days when nobody comments on his status.

| My only friends are pirates.

cried at Mr. Bonsai's funeral.

was born on a Friday and was born for Fridays.

is an extreme mnmlst.

is friends with himself on Facebook.

| It was un-bloody-necess'ry.

| The final product should cause envy. If you're getting a different reaction, go back to cooking school...

is a would-be drug addict. (Thanks, Jolysa.)

is feeling rather good about all this—spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.

just had his morning dose of saturated fat. The stringy kind.

prefers the phrase "If I grow up.." to "When I grow up..."

| I'm not trying to be obscene. I'm trying to be casual.

is glad to know that he has an audience for his status updates. Welcome. (Yes, you.)

wants to tell everyone his new password because it's so clever. (But it's my password. So the answer's no.)

recommends that you switch to Chrome. It is useless to resist.

altarsofscience

got a cold from somebody on Facebook...